You will most likely never see this
I still remember the first time that I told you that I love you. I remember how awkward I was when I tried to back out of what had just come out of my mouth. When I say things that don’t get the reaction I desire, I tend to try and talk my way out of it. I wasn’t lying, I meant everything i have ever said. I was scared. Afraid that I would push you away with my feelings, frighten you. I am so grateful for every ounce of effort that you have put into trying to fall in love with me completely. I am sorry I am so guarded. I’m sorry my communication skills suck, and that I am so impulsive, selfish, broken. I want to be something better. Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don’t share my dreams with anyone. They are mine and I never want them to end. I want to spend every waking minute with you. I want to hear your laugh, and know that it’s me that makes you smile. I want to make you feel comfortable, feel loved. It seems that as of a couple months ago I have been falling short in every aspect of my life. I wont make excuses for my actions, emotions, and shortcomings. Though the fact of the matter is that you mean more to me than anyone else in my life. I haven’t ever felt as content in a relationship as I have in the last year. I have you to thank for the new level of confidence, success, and happiness. The last 24 hours has been a living hell for me, trying to process the information from our last conversation. I feel broken. Like I let you down and left you feeling unloved.
My words sound hollow and meaningless to you now. Knowing that I have neglected to see how I have acted and the way that has affected you is my ambition to be a better person. You have been a miracle in my life. I only wish that I could show you how much you mean to me. These words are not enough. I want you to fall in love all over again. I need you to know, I need you to feel how much you are loved, and how important you are to me.
Always and Forever LRK.